Isaiah 6:8 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? ' And I said 'Here am I, Send me!' "

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  • What I Imagined

    I remember when I was younger I knew exactly how my life was going to go. I was going to meet my future husband some time in high school, we’d be married by 23, have children by 25, I’d be a stay at home mom, and my husband and I would live across the street from my parents in a two story house with a nice yard and a dog. Yup, when I looked at my life in the future this is what it was going to look like. However I learned that life doesn’t always go the way we plan. When I was 13 I made a purity promise to wait for my husband and at 16 I picked out a purity ring I would wear. I spent a few weeks picking out the ring so I could get it for my 16th birthday.

    At the time while I put a lot of thought into the ring knowing this promise was very important to me, I didn’t think I’d be wearing it passed 23. As I said before I’d be married by 23 of course so the longest I’d be wearing it would be 7 years because who knows I could be married by 20 or even 21. At 16 years old I was told I could date, surely God was going to send me my knight in shining armor soon…however I didn’t end up dating, not just at 16 but years after. I just couldn’t seem to find anyone I could see myself marrying and I didn’t want to date just to date. Not to say I didn’t have crushes, there were guys I liked but the feelings never seemed to be mutual. As 23 approached I realized I would not be getting married by 23 and so I decided I should change my timeline a bit. Instead of being married by 23 I’d be married by 25 and therefore would have children by 27. Surely God would bring someone to me in that time….Lets fast forward a bit. Current day I am still living at home, I am not in a relationship, I am not married, I have no one in my life that I feel I would date and you guessed it… in four months I will be 27 years old.

    My life did not turn out so far anything like my younger self had imagined and while some might think this is a bad thing I have found that as per usual God knew and continues to know what He is doing. In the years that I imagined myself to be married I learned so much about myself and about God. I learned that the guys I thought I wanted to date were in fact not for me. We would have never worked in a relationship or a marriage with who I am today and even who some of them are today. I have grown as a person in so many ways. God has shown me the importance of trusting Him even when we can’t see what’s happening or when things don’t look like we think they should. I learned patience as well as life skills like budgeting and finances. I learned just how long I’m willing to wait for my future husband (as long as it takes) and what type of man I will need him to be so we can have a future together. I learned what type of woman God wants me to be and what I’ll need to be for my future husband. I learned that at 23 I wasn’t ready to be married and still at 25 not ready to be married and a parent. I learned that what we want sometimes and what we need are not always the same thing. I learned that the person God wants us to be to help others is not always what we would have chosen for ourselves but in the long run it is the best thing for ourselves and the people we meet.

    So what does my time of singleness look like? A bit like this….God has shown me the book of Ruth over and over. I’ve read it multiple times over the last year or so. Some of the things He showed me about Ruth was that Ruth wasn’t looking for a husband when she left her home. Ruth was serving God, helping her mother-in-law Naomi, and Ruth was working very hard. What we know of Ruth is that she was faithful, loyal, hard working, diligently serving God. We know that the person she became because of the circumstances in her life was far from the woman she was in Moab and it shaped her into the woman that Boaz would love and need by his side. The Bible says she happened upon a field that belonged to Boaz. She wasn’t looking for a man but for work and her faithfulness to God brought her to the place where she was ready for the blessing He had for her. Ruth’s life didn’t look like she planned I’m sure but it ended up being the best thing for her. I have learned in my time of singleness to trust God, to work hard, to help my family and to seek Him and grow in Him.

    I’ve been blessed in so many other ways over the years. I have been on adventures and grown so much. I have not given up on wanting to be married and have my own family. I pray for my future husband and ask God to guide him in his everyday life without me. Maybe one day God will allow me to happen upon my Boaz’s field maybe there isn’t one for me, I don’t know but what I do know is that God is faithful, His will is best for me, and He has given me a life that is truly blessed regardless of the fact that it looks different than I thought it would. I will not be married by 27 and most likely 28 and that’s ok. His timing is better than mine.

    If you are a younger woman or an older woman and you are waiting for your future husband and you are feeling discouraged that you haven’t met him yet I urge you to pray and seek God. Ask God what it is that He would have you do in this season of singleness. Ask God what His will is for your life and ask Him to help you stay strong in your promise to your future husband. I can’t promise you that God has someone for you and I can’t promise that if He does they will come into your life soon but I can promise you that God knows what He’s doing. God’s will is always better, He loves you and has great things for you. Never forget that.

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  • Ten Years

    My name is Christine, I am 25 years old in a few weeks I will be turning 26 and I am a single woman of God. When I was 16 I made a promise before God and my family to live a chaste life as I waited for my future husband and that I would not date just to date but would date with the intent to marry. I made this promise so that I may live according to God’s will and for the protection of both myself and my future husband. My parents gave me for my 16th birthday a purity ring that I have worn ever since I made my promise.

    As the 10 year anniversary of that promise approaches in the next few weeks I have reflected on what it has meant in my life as well as how different my life could have been had I not made that promise. I personally feel that my promise to God and my future husband has helped me grow as a person as well as kept me from relationships or dating that could have pushed me off course of what God wanted for my life thus far.

    Once in my life I had prayed that God would keep any man who wasn’t meant to be my future husband away from me. I promise you He has kept to that prayer over the years when I was younger and as I got older He gave me the discernment to recognize who was not. I have been asked out on many dates since I made that promise and I have turned down many dates. Not because they were bad men or dangerous in any way but because I knew they were not my future husband.

    I have grown in so many ways as a person and child of God. I have grown in ways I might not have if I had been dating different men or had just been in a relationship in general. I have come to a peace in my singleness and I have found that praying for my future husband while we are a part as well as praying for our future for when we are together has helped me have a peace about who I am and where God has me in my life right now. I believe prayer is powerful and I pray for him, that he becomes all that God created him to be. I wouldn’t change a thing about where I am right now. I have found over and over again fulfillment in serving God, it is what I live for and it brings me joy and hope and happiness like no other. I have found a joy in my singleness and all that I have been able to do because of it.

    Singleness is a blessing and I think people need to start teaching it as one. To all my single sisters in Christ: you have a great gift. Being single gives you an opportunity to serve others, to grow in God, to accomplish goals and make dreams come true. You have family and friends who love you and a God who made your life with purpose. Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for you. You are worth so much more than you could ever imagine. Allow God to grow you into the person He created you to be. I can’t promise you when He will bring your husband into your life or if it’s even His will that you have one. All I can promise you is that God has an amazing plan for your life and it doesn’t begin when you get married it began the day you are born and it will continue until He calls you home. Don’t waste your life waiting for a man to come into your life. Live and if God has a man who can compliment your life than you will know who that man is when the time is right.

    Ten years may seem like a long time but to me it’s been worth every moment of serving God and seeing where He is going to bring me next. Every season I’ve grown, I’ve learned and I’ve become better. I would wait forever if it meant that I could give my husband the joy of knowing that no matter who tried to come into my life, my love and heart was only ever for him.
    I really hope this has encouraged any of my single Woman of God women out there. Never forget how valuable you are to God, He loves you and He has a plan.

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  • Ruth Didn’t Sit Around Waiting For A Man

    Ruth Didn’t Sit Around Waiting For A Man
    Over the past week I have felt led to talk about Ruth. A lot of young ladies are under the misconception that Ruth sat around waiting for Boaz to come and rescue her from her life. Many young women look to Ruth and Boaz as the ideal for what they want their love story to be like. If you ask a single woman “Is there anyone special in your life?” they will often reply “No, I’m still waiting for my Boaz.” This is often said with a twinge of longing and a melancholy sigh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Ruth was not “Waiting for her Boaz.” What do I mean by that? What I mean is, Ruth was working and she was living her life. Ruth wasn’t looking for a man when she ran into Boaz, she was living her life and trying to build a life. Boaz was a blessing given to her by God for her faithfulness to Him and to Naomi.

    Ruth’s Backstory
    Ruth was a Moabite woman living in Moab with her Jewish husband and in laws. Ruth’s husband, father in law, and brother in law all passed away at the same time due to illness leaving Ruth, her mother in law Naomi, and her sister in law without husbands. Naomi decided to return home and she told her daughter in laws to stay in Moab so that they may find husbands and remarry as Jews and Moabites typically did not marry nor did they like each other. There was nothing in Naomi’s home land (Bethlehem) for Ruth but she chose to go with her mother in law anyway. Choosing to abandon her god’s and her home land to serve Jehovah and help her mother in law Ruth went to Bethlehem with Naomi.

    An unmarried woman had a hard time earning a living in those times. Marriage was the ideal situation for a woman in those days, but Ruth didn’t go for ideal she went with faithfulness and obedience to God and Naomi. Ruth had to find a way to provide for herself and Naomi. Ruth did so as we see in Ruth 2 that Ruth had gone to glean in the fields to provide for herself and Naomi. The field she happened upon was that of Boaz. Boaz was a relative of Naomi’s on her husband’s side. Ruth worked hard a diligently most likely looking a mess with her hair all disheveled, dirt all over her skin and clothes, dirt underneath her fingernails, she was probably even a bit sweaty. Yet as she was working Boaz noticed her and inquired about her. Boaz liked what he heard and what he saw. A woman who abandoned all that was familiar and stayed faithful to her mother in law and to God. Working hard to provide a life for them both. Boaz found that insanely attractive and he showed Ruth favor. The key part of this is Boaz took notice of Ruth while she was working, while she was living her life, while she was focusing on the task at hand. While she was trusting God and being faithful. Ruth’s character and heart is what brought her favor in Boaz’s eyes. He admired her character, her faithfulness to her mother in law, her heart, her courage and her work ethic.
    Now that we’ve established Ruth and what Boaz found attractive about her we need to talk about how this applies to you. Just like Ruth as a Woman of God you must live your life abandoning what is comfortable to you and being faithful to God, seeking God’s will, allowing Him to help you provide for a household like a Proverbs 31 woman, allowing Him to build your character. A godly man seeking a godly wife wants a woman of great character who can take care of a home, someone he can build his life with, he can build a home with and raise a family with, and someone he can be proud to call his wife. Ruth found favor in Boaz’s sight because she proved by her character and work ethic that she could do those things and Boaz was highly attracted to her. A man doesn’t want an incapable woman for his wife.

    A man wants a help mate, not a helpless mate. A man wants someone who can assist him on this crazy journey called life. A life of marriage takes years of preparation that starts long before a wedding is even remotely close. Being married is hard work and a godly man needs a godly woman strong enough to handle that. My advice to all single women out there is: Don’t put your life on hold “waiting for your Boaz.” Make a life for yourself. Pursue a relationship with God and seek His will for your life, set goals, dream dreams, find out where and what god wants you to do, be faithful and grow spiritually and emotionally, work hard and learn to take care of a household, become the godly woman God created you to be. Go where He leads you to go and who knows? Maybe while you’re busy working you’ll find yourself in “Boaz’s field.” And if you’ve faithfully done what God has asked of you until that day than you will have a life your Boaz will be honored to be a part of and you’ll be a wife he is proud to have a part of his. Remember nothing is more attractive to a godly man than a godly woman who reflects Proverbs 31. Make sure that’s what you are when you finally meet him. Trust me when I say on this ending note that you will have a better idea of who you want to spend the rest of your life with when you already know who you are to be. You can only know that when you seek God because it is there you will find yourself.
    - Christine Sawyer
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